Useless

I only have one follower and she no longer pays me any attention. Seeing as no one reads this, I need to vent. We broke up nearly four months ago. I'm still crushed, stunted, paralyzed. It's all I can do to wake up every morning and not want to die. She told me that she's pregnant with and engaged to another person- a man, no less. Irony anyone? I don't know if I believe her, my opinion changes depending on the day. Without her, I am quite alone. The void just kind of sits in my chest. No one seems to understand the all-consuming agony. The horrible, sickening feeling that even though it is quite over, and she has not given me any indication of wanting me since before November 28th, I still feel like it's meant to be with her. She has not wanted to speak to me or anything else, but I lie awake at night whispering her name, just hoping she'll hear it. Ready for the twist?

I know as well as anyone that she will not be back.